When She Speaks - Women in Leadership Series

Welcome to "When She Speaks" San Francisco

RAL & Associates is pleased to present the award-winning San Francisco "When She Speaks"- Women in Leadership Series, highlighting the stories of influential Bay Area women across corporate and non-profit organizations. With this series, our intent is to:

• stimulate critical thinking on the social, business and leadership issues of the day
• build support networks and deeper relationships between like-minded professionals in support of women on the leadership track
• mobilize leaders to take specific action and achieve tangible results to themselves and their teams

These programs provide ongoing opportunities for leaders and emerging leaders in the Bay Area to celebrate leadership, share best practices and forge bonds with fellow professionals in support of women on the leadership track.

With the generous support of Charles Schwab & Co., PG&E,  McKesson, Salesforce.com, Symantec and Blackrock we produce these monthly events in downtown San Francisco. We hope you will consider participating as a sponsor, panelist or attendee, and hope you check back here often for updated information on this series.

Notes from our May program on "Women & Negotiating"

Our May "When She Speaks" program on "The Art of The Ask: Negotiating for Skills for Women" was sold out and yielded some great advice from our panelists.

Here are some key takeaways from the panel discussion:

• When approaching a negotiation be sure you understand your role, and if it is with multiple parties that you have a “voice” at the negotiating table
• Whether you are negotiating for yourself or for others, remember that you are building relationships that will set the stage for the future, so approach it from a “win-win” rather than a “win at all costs” perspective
• Almost everything you do in your professional life is a negotiation – internally and externally
• One key to a successful negotiation is to be very clear about what you want, and have the facts and research to back up your position
• Sometimes you can't successfully negotiate a situation so you need to know when to walk away
• Be clear about your values, what you want and know yourself
• Be prepared to walk away (what is that point?) and to know what you are prepared to give up
• Women need to put themselves first and negotiate for themselves, not just their team and /or others; be selfish in this way, think about your needs and give yourself permission to ask for things for yourself
• Preparation, preparation, preparation: there is no substitute for a preparation in a successful negotiation. Get your facts straight, put your positions and options down on paper, and practice with someone else who can challenge you
• When preparing for a negotiation, try to think rationally – get all your emotions and hot buttons out of the way before you go into a negotiation
• Know you audience – what are their needs; what is motivating them, where are they “philosophically” with respect to your position
• Know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement); know what you have as leverage and stand your ground; don’t let the other party think you will give in; approach it from a position of strength – but also know when it is time to walk way
• Women are better at collaboration and more prepared to compromise, to find a solution that is best for everyone involved
• Top things to consider when negotiating:

(1)   Know your audience

(2)   Know your “walk away” point

(3)   Have the facts to support your position

(4)   Prepare

(5)   Be confident in your position

(6)   Be persistent

(7)   Be sure to have options and alternatives

 

When She Speaks - Notes from our "Politics in the Workplace" Program

 Here are some key takeaways from our April program:

What mistakes re managing office politics have you made?

- learn to slow down put on the brakes; make sure everyone is on the same page despite the need to move fast

- communication is key: you need to check in with other people to understand their goals and objectives, to see if you are aligned and they are in a position to support you

- be tuned into the culture of the company you are in and be aware of what you say and the impact it has. Always look for ways to present problems and challenges in a positive way

- recognize that politics is everywhere; it’s all about having influence, getting work done through others. As you advance in an organization your competencies and functional expertise becomes less important than your interpersonal skills: who you know not what you know

Other points:

- office politics is part of working, of organizational behavior. Pick your “battles”, focus on what is significant and best for the business

- when you decide to speak out make sure it’s authentic and also be aware of the timing

- understand that office politics doesn’t have to have negative connotations; if you understand other’s objectives and pressures, find common ground, you can create powerful alliances and allegiances with others

- when you are in a politically charged situation keep your code of conduct and behavior standards high

- when you need to work with someone who is difficult, challenging – step back and try to understand their perceptive and approach them in a nonthreatening way. The worst conversation is the one not had. Also, it is better to have those conversations face to face if possible

- treat co-workers like people, they have personal lives, so get to know then, talk about who they are, what they do outside of work. It isn’t always about business. Getting to know then as people can help to build rapport and find common ground

- re women having problems working with other women: it’s all about communications and building relationships; if you focus on gender it can be a big distraction

- many of us work in global organizations: be sure to reach out to people by phone – not just email; ask about their environment, where they work and understand their culture

- if you are a new manager, map out the organization for your team, help them understand people and roles

- don’t burn bridges: all you have is your reputation so protect it

- don’t fight politics, understand them. And be aware of and using politics all the time; don’t wait until you need something

- don’t just rely on information: use your instincts as well

Notes from our March program on "Women Making History"

In celebration of "Women's History Month", we were inspired by our panel of women leaders who are known as trail-blazers in their fields. Here are some key takeaways from the panel discussion:

• What historical figure or other women inspired you?

   - women who had ground-breaking accomplishments, like Rachel Carson, Rosa Parks and Marie Curie; their “journeys” and how they took risks and overcame odds is very inspiring

- the strong women in my family – mother and grandmothers

- women who were social activists when it was very risky and controversial, like Eleanor Roosevelt

• What are the keys to your journey as a woman leaders?

- looking at situations that are polarized; where there are two sides and figure out how to ring them together; leverage power and resources, unify people, create solidarity and help those who do  not have a voice (Jayne)

- build a legacy by helping others; mentoring them, being open to their needs; listening well and helping them reach their goals (Pam)

- having integrity, sticking to your beliefs, regardless of the circumstances. Using integrity as a guiding principle in how you deal with everyone (Marie)

• What can we learn from men and vice versa?

- watch how they present themselves in meetings and conversations; look at the small details of what they do

- be aware of the differences of how they act, but stay genuine and true to yourself

- we can learn how to have more confidence from men; they can learn how to be more creative problem-solvers; how to look at the “gray” area in issues to find the answers

• What are some of the ways women can support each other?

- by listening, helping to acknowledge each other’s strengths; introduce women to others who can help them

- we can “put the spotlight” on things that are not fair to help women be successful, pave the way

- be creative about how we think about “work” and ways to make work/life issues more flexible

• Other advice?

- find a working environment that is the right fit for you and a good boss who supports you and whom you can learn from

- find mentors – men and women – who can help you improve your skills, build confidence and advance your career

- take risks; understand the consequences but put yourself out of your comfort zone

- be clear on what you want and ask for it

- WRITE: keep a journal, write down your goals, dreams and aspirations

- take care of yourself so you can stay healthy and resilient

- be sure to have outside activities and relationships from your work environment

REMEMBER: “WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN DON’T MAKE HISTORY”!

Notes from our January program on "Mentors and Sponsors: Your Career Musts"

• How did having a mentor or sponsor help you in your career?

- if you are in a field that is male-dominated, mentors and sponsors can help you navigate the organization/field and advance more quickly

- they can recognize your value and what you have to offer (when you might not realize it yourself) and recommend you for a new role

- if you are in a remote location, they can help you build critical relationships so you are not “out of sight, out of mind” and can still advance your career

- they can provide an ongoing, outside perspective to you as your career evolves and your goals change

• What was an effective sponsor/mentor relationship?

- when they are not only focused on your work/career but also have invested the time to get to know you personally

- when you execute/follow through on their advice, directions and recommendations; you are validating their decision to mentor or sponsor you

- when you “earn” their sponsorship so that they feel good about advocating and going to bat for you

- when you can create a “win-win” situation where both parties benefit

- when you approach it strategically and intentionally – knowing what you want out of the relationship

• When did a mentor/sponsor relationship NOT work do well?

- when there is no “chemistry”, or some common denominator (other than work) to make it valuable for both parties

- when you haven’t some “homework” on your sponsor/mentor so you can understand how you can add value to the relationship and reciprocate

- when you are unclear on your goals for the relationship

• Other Comments

- women tend to do well up to a certain point in their careers and thy they “fall off” because they don’t have the critical sponsorship that men do to further advance

- a sponsor who goes put on a limb to support you can push you to a level higher than you might have achieved without them

 - you need to “interview” your sponsors; how do they advance others, what is their track record?

 - mentoring doesn’t need to be formal; you can ask for advice and support for many things; for example how to approach a specific situation, build a skill, gain perspective outside your department

 - you need multiple mentors: this is your developmental network of people to seek advice and feedback from

 - be sure to recruit multiple sponsors and from outside your company, because if they leave the company that could impact your career

 - choose people you admire and want to be like

 - make sure you are response to your mentor’s or sponsor’s requests; follow through on any advice they give or recommendations they may make

 - if your company reorganizes learn about the new leaders; who are they, how can you build relationships with them, what do you have to offer them?

 - let potential sponsors see your value, what you can do. It’s not about developing your skills (like a mentor relationship); it’s about being really good at your job and about what you can contribute to the company

 -  BE BOLD! To recruit a sponsor you need to believe in yourself, sell yourself, do it for you!!

 

Note from our January program on "Personal Branding"

 Here are some resources to consider for building your personal brand:

• Career Distinction – Stand Out by Building Your Brand: Arruda and Dixson
• What is Personal Branding? How to Create a Memorable and Powerful Brand That Sells YOU!; (eBook) Kukral and Newlands
• You Are A Brand: How Smart People Brand Themselves for Business Success: Kaputa
• Branding Yourself: How to Use Social Media to Invent or Reinvent Yourself: Decker & Lacy
• Me 2.0: 4 Steps to Branding Your Future: Schawbel
• The Reach Branding Club: www.reachbrandingclub.com

Notes from our December program on "A Leader's Legacy"

Here are the key notes from our December panel program:

• What does having a legacy mean

  - there are still many barriers to women succeeding and advancing so we need to talk about them and address them to improve the situation

- the environment I create at work and in my family

- taking charge of your career and the legacy you are doing to help others succeed and excel

- investing in others, their development so that they can take it forward and help others

- it is OK if your legacy so something “intangible”; it doesn’t have to be some big, “shiny” thing

- a blending of past, present and future tenses – and making a difference for the future, not just today

• Is your legacy different in your personal and professional lives?

- it is the same at work as at home; about building “endearing” and “enduring” relationships; learning about and leaving a mark on others

- it’s about how you conduct yourself at all times; you never know how you will impact people, one person at a time

- living your values at all times, making decisions based on your values

- how you “balance” your personal and professional priorities is important; forget about perfection; doing the best you can and “good enough” often has to suffice

• How does your leadership style affect how you are creating your legacy?

- “servant” leadership based on serving, helping others – your staff and the organization; it’s about others

- a style that resonates for you and is authentic for you and meaningful for those around you

- it should be conscious and deliberate on how you act each day but don’t “overthink” it

- mentoring and sponsoring others is one way for women to show other women the ways – but you have to ask

- everyone can be a leader in their own way; you don’t need to have positional authority to be a leader; you can demonstrate leadership through volunteer activities as well

 

Notes from our October Program on "Corporate Politics"

Here are some key takeaways from our panel discussion on "Politics in the Workplace: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly":

• From the panelists’ “Lessons Learned”: (1) don’t lie (2) don’t cry (3) you can’t always trust people you thought you could so you may need to be more cautious and less open (4) don’t focus on looking good or competing with others….be more concerned about contributing to the company, about your team and keeping your integrity (5) don’t gossip – stay above the fray (6) don’t take things personally
• On surviving in a very competitive corporate culture: how do you achieve this when you are not naturally competitive? Stay true to who you are; try to find a win-win solution. See how you can develop some common ground, how you can help that person achieve their goals, get to know them personally. Sometimes if the situation is untenable and you feel you would have to compromise your integrity it may be time to move on
• How do you build rapport with people who may be competing with you or “playing politics? Get out of the office and invite them to coffee, lunch; have dinner the night before a big meeting so you can get to know them; praise, recognize them; do something that makes them look good! (Yes, this can be difficult!)
• How do you manage politics with virtual teams? Get to know them ahead of time when you have a “meeting”; pick up the phone and call them
• Office politics is always there; people who have power and influence get more resources, and in this challenging economic environment that is the name of the game. You can’t avoid office politics, you need to recognize it as a natural element in all organizations and learn to deal with it, otherwise you may be the unlucky benefactor of someone else’s political game plan
• Shift your perspective from politics having a negative connotation to thinking of it as building relationships, finding common goals and practicing open and honest communications

 

 

Notes from our July program on " Women's Leadership Styles"

Here are some key point from our July panel discussion:

• Men attribute their success to themselves; women attribute their success to others. We often underestimate our own abilities; claim your success and believe in yourself and what you can accomplish
• It is a fact that companies with women in senior leadership roles usually produce better bottom-line results for organizations- why? Because women are naturally better at collaboration, creating employee engagement, buy-in and commitment
• Women in leadership roles also tend to look at the broader perspective of their work and the impact it may have on others. As women we also are more “aware” of the needs of 50% of the population so we produce better products and services to meet women’s needs and that yields more commercial success for companies
• In today’s corporate environment leaders wear multiple hats and are often working in multiple-matrixed environments. How can women take advantage of this? We are better at managing multiple stakeholders and their interests and “socializing” information to support decision-making; we use our gut instincts along with objective criteria for evaluation. We are flexible when it comes to both setting strategy and executing; while men may be singularly focused on “taking the hill;” we know that the hill may change and so must the approach.  And we approach change management differently: we appreciate the feeling and reactions people have to change and we use our Emotional Intelligence abilities to be more aware, responsive and manage them successfully through the process
• Stand up for yourself: the journey around your self-confidence is ongoing……use your network and supporters to reflect what they see and help you take the next steps
• What are the keys to succeeded in a male-dominated corporate environment? (1) stand up for and defend yourself (2) get mentors and sponsors to support you; look 2-3 levels above you (3) collaborate with others to advance your ideas and agenda (4) “raise your hand” for opportunities (5) own the moment: take responsibility and speak up for yourself
• On negotiating. Don’t be afraid to ask for something, to negotiate that salary or raise. If you are starting a new job and you miss that going-in opportunity to negotiate it can take years for you to catch up
• Get your elbows out there! You don’t “get” things unless you stand up for yourself, ask for them and make room for them to happen
• Use humor when you can and don’t take things personally. Heather used the example of saying to someone” Hey, see that line there? (pointing to an imaginary line on the floor); you just crossed it so back it up a bit!”. Love that.
• Find your “voice”.  Ask questions, “show up” at the table, take up space and take risks
• “You’re on stage before you’re on stage”. Be aware of how you act, speak, lead. Others are always watching, you need to set the example.
• Your leadership style is uniquely yours.  Watch others whose style you admire, read about successful men and women; try different things but ultimately think about how you can lead in service to others

 

Notes from our June program on "Leading Through Change"

Here are some key insights from our panelists on successfulling leading change:

• When dealing with a change you are not expecting or happy about, get on board right away. There is only so much you can control in the process so don’t resist the need to go along with the change
• Often in a company merger there is a “culture clash”. People join organizations and leave organizations because of their values, so be clear about what yours are and how the (new) organization may or may not be aligned with them
• Look for the positive in all change; how can I make it work for me, what is the benefit to me?
• Ask for everyone’s input; co-creating your future together is important. People want to give their “two cents” and be heard
• When implementing change, start with the intention to bring everyone in; you may not get everyone but start with that goal
• The “life-cycle” of change is short these days; change is happening rapidly and concurrently; we are often making the change, assessing the effectiveness of the change and doing our “business as usual” at the same time. Women tend to be better at this since we are great jugglers, multi-taskers and managers
• If you are on board with a change initially but later disagree, share that with your boss; there may be a perspective you are missing, or a reason why you feel out of synch; they will appreciate your interest in understanding the situation and making the change successful
• Sometime you just need to move on if the change is not working for you; if you are working too hard to make a bad situation work you leave no “space” for the right answer about what to do to come to you!
• Trust in your instincts and don’t worry about what other people think!
• When communicating change, do a lot of listening first, and then make it “personal” to people; they need to be able to answer the question “What about me?”
• Consistently communicate the benefits – and celebrate the successes – along the way to implementing change
• Determine who the influencers are in the organization; seek them out and win them over early so they can also be advocates for the change
• Some qualities of successful change are: consistency, communication, positive attitude, outcomes-focused, participation, building trust, inclusion, having courage

**One final thought from one of our panelist’s: “When you are stuck – start moving boxes”!  Great advice for all of us who live with constant change.

 

 

The "New" Mentoring - A Primer for Professional Women

We've all heard about the importance of having mentors in our professional lives, but the rules have changed about who, why, when and for what purpose. In the past, when we think of "mentoring" we've generally thought of an older executive counseling a younger person. But this traditional definition is no longer the standard: there are many ways to get guidance and advice today, and with all the twists and turns in our careers it is more important then ever to take a strategic approach to developing your advisors.

So before we tackle the who, why and what, here are some basic definitions:

Mentor: someone who gives advice, helps you with a potential professional development area; is usually not in your direct line of responsibility and has no personal stake or investment in any career path you choose.

Sponsor: someone who acts as an advocate for your career advancement; they have direct input and involvement in promotion considerations - they are "at the table" when these discussions take place.

For now, let's deal with the subject of mentors and these keys to consider:

1. More than one: while many women say they have had a significant mentor who impacted their career, the trend now is to have multiple mentors who can help you with different areas of your professional life. They are your "developmental network"
2. Organic: you recruit and learn from them to help you build a specific skill or competency - like strategic thinking, managing politics in the workplace etc.
3. Connector: we all live in our own, often siloed work worlds. These mentors can get you connected to areas outside your company or department - to give you critical perspective and visibility
4. Look 3-4 levels up: mentoring can fail for professional women because we tend to choose people we are comfortable with - often those at lower levels in the organization. Mentors at more senior levels can help you see more broadly and strategically in the organization
5. Diversity: choose advisors who are not like you, with whom you may not be comfortable. You don't have to like them - just respect them for who they are and what they can offer you
6. Beware the "M" word: some potential mentors may be afraid of making a long-term mentoring commitment. Instead, ask for "advice" on a regular basis. Mentoring relationships can be one hour vs. 6 months - more "Twitter-like"!

So ask yourself: what are the challenges in front of you right now in your professional life - do you have the relational resources to handle them? If the answer is "NO", then take stock, review this list and get going creating your developmental network today.